I exploded. How could my daughter play with the tablet AGAIN when she clearly knew the rule: no tablet during the week? “Mom said yes” she replied, her finger dancing across the keyboard. I rushed upstairs to confront my wife: we must enforce the rules we’ve set together.

Obviously, my wife had not given her permission.

That was the beginning of Not. A. Great. Evening. I was in a bad mood, my wife was fulminating against my vain accusations, which turned the whole household into a boiling cauldron of negative energy.

It was not the first time that I caught my daughter playing. But I would usually calmly handle the situation in a matter of seconds, with no consequences for the rest of the evening.

Why this difference in reaction? How can we better manage our emotions when our hot buttons get triggered?

Two words: mental fitness.

Who cares about mental fitness?

Just like neglecting your physical fitness has consequences on your body, ignoring your mental fitness makes you less agile emotionally, which impairs your performance and your business. We are a nation of mental obese: 70% of employees and as much as 83% (!) of CEOs report mental fitness challenges. Taking care of your mental fitness enables you to replenish your mental energy tank so that you can willingly choose curiosity over tunnel vision, humor over irritation, open-mindedness over judgment.

“Mental health is the big secret of the boardroom, writes Kevin Lawrence in Your Oxygen Mask First. Leaders constantly face the harsh realities of business.” Many CEOs feel that they have to appear invincible – to their investors, team, clients – which puts an additional burden on their shoulders.

Neglecting your mental fitness hurts you AND your business

This constant pressure hurts your mental fitness, which negatively impacts: 

  • Your mood (e.g. irritation, impatience).
  • Your physical health (e.g. insomnia, high blood pressure, weakened immune system, obesity, shorter life) .
  • Your team and your business due to:
    • Degraded decision-making: You react more often to threats in a fight-or-flight mode that generates a tunnel vision, making you less open to new or confrontational data.
    • Reduced ability to adapt to change: Negative stress leads you to make decisions out of habit, even when the situation changes.
    • Closed-mindedness and general willingness to be right.

“This is the price to pay to be a leader,” you may think: too many things, too much pressure, too little time. And yet, there is another way: “It is not the heavy load that breaks you down. It is the way you carry it,” as jazz icon and civil rights activist Lena Horne put it.

To be your best self for your team, manage your energy, not your time

Just like you, top athletes need to perform at their peak in high-pressure situations. They achieve this by alternating periods of intense effort with rests. They don’t try to be at their peak all the time – otherwise, they hurt themselves.

The same is true with your mental fitness: trying to be at your mental peak all the time hurts you – and triggers energy-draining negative emotions: stress, anxiety, irritation, insecurity, and judgment.

However not all mental rests are created equal. Do three things to gain greater control of your reactions and be your best self – so you can grow your business faster and with less pain:

Learn to recognize the hot buttons that trigger these negative emotions. They are linked to your top Saboteurs. One of my hot buttons is the feeling of losing control – when my daughter disobeys a well-established rule or when a team member doesn’t share key information.

Develop in-the-moment recovery techniques when your hot buttons are triggered, e.g. look at the situation from different angles:

  • At the end of your life, looking back on this specific situation: what would you wish you had chosen to do?
  • Regardless of the outcome, what can you learn from this situation?

Improve your overall mental fitness to reduce your dependence on your hot buttons. Again mental fitness works just like physical fitness: learning to recover from back pain is good – but even better is getting in shape to prevent it in the first place.

How can you improve your mental fitness?

Your Oxygen Mask First recommends three interdependent aspects of resilience rituals:

Take care of your mind, eg:

  • Carve out some reflection time, like journalling: each day take a few minutes to put your thoughts, positive and negative, on paper.
  • Meditate. Best-selling author Shirzad Chamine has developed a very practical, on-the-go method to strengthen your mental fitness. Contact me to find out more (Xavier@AmbroseGrowth.com).

Take care of your body, eg:

  • Exercise regularly (eg gym, yoga, hiking) – mens sana in corpore sano is scientifically demonstrated.
  • Eat healthy and sleep at least 7 to 8 hours per night.

Take care of your spirit by doing things that light you up inside, eg:

  • Spend quality time with people you love – e.g. have sit-down dinners with your family.
  • Do something that you genuinely enjoy, just like a child – whatever it is: car racing, rock climbing, gardening, playing with lego’s or model trains.
  • Volunteer at a local non-profit.

The key is to do these rituals regularly – pick one and commit to doing it every day or at least 3 times a week. Do it for 6 weeks before judging whether it works or not.

Which resilience ritual will you start implementing? Let me know!

I work with growth-minded CEOs who are frustrated by the way their business is growing; often they spend their days fighting fires – typically a sign that their company has outgrown their management approach. I frequently notice that they get hijacked by their own negative emotions due to excessive stress. In short, they feel stuck. I know the feeling: I have been in their shoes when I was running a business that we turned around from sales decline to double-digit business growth.

As a business coach my passion is to help leadership teams define their actionable business growth strategy, create a culture of accountability and effective strategy execution, and become better leaders – so they can grow faster and with less pain.

If you too want to grow faster and with less pain, contact me now: Xavier@AmbroseGrowth.com.


“My company has lots of potential, but I just feel my employees are not engaged. If I don’t push, nothing seems to happen. I’m working night and day and we’re still missing 40% of our targets. I once dreamed of being a firefighter, I guess that dream has come true. All I do is put out fires, I have no time to focus on my business.”

Sound familiar? CEOs and leadership teams can change this picture, it’s all about accountability. Creating a fierce culture of accountability starts with the CEO and leadership team.

Why is accountability important?

Accountability is about owning a problem. You want employees to behave as if they own the piece of business that they are running. When you are accountable for a specific result, you will do whatever it takes to achieve it – and you would like your team to perform this way as well.

Carlos Brito, the CEO of brewing company AB Inbev, summarizes his views on accountability in these words: “We always compare that to a rental car: you drive a rental car in a different way than your own car. With a rental car someone else will live with the consequences of your driving. With your car, you know that it will be yours the next days, months, and years, and you know that you will be living with the consequences of your driving. Employees who behave like owners are here for the long term, and they will live with the consequences of their decisions – good or bad – and that builds a great company.”

Why am I having accountability issues?

Accountability issues are very common among growing companies. When you founded your company, you were personally accountable for everything. As your company grew you started delegating the responsibilities for some results – e.g. production, customer service, or sales. However, you may not have created the communication channels required to hold your teams accountable. Why would you? You didn’t need any of this yourself, and yet you grew your business successfully. Why would these smart managers need anything different?

For one, your employees are not you. If they were, they would not be working for you: they would start their own business. Second, your company is now more complex than we you started: it has more people involved, and all these people now need to be on the same page. Third, when you started your company with a few employees, you could be on top of each of them and had short communication lines: you knew what everybody was doing, all the time. Now that your company has more employees it is impossible for you to manage them the same way: this would soak up all your time.  This is exactly why you need to put a system in place that will achieve what you want (ie create accountability), without you spending all your time on it.

In the book “Creating a Culture of Accountability” Gravitas Impact business coach Mark Green describes ways to increase your team’s accountability. This article outlines five of them

1. Lead by example

Like many aspects related to company culture, accountability starts with you and your leadership team. In order to create a culture of accountability you have to model the behaviors that you want to see in your organization. When it comes to accountability the rule is simple: when you make a commitment as a leader, you have to keep it. If you don’t, why should anyone else be interested in doing so? You can’t complain that employees miss their deadlines if you are occasionally late as well. As a CEO “all eyes and ears within your business are focused on you. What you say and what you do are invisibly and constantly observed, scrutinized and evaluated as your managers and employees are looking for clues as to how they should behave,” explains Mark Green.

Leading by example is not only about you sticking to your commitments, but also about your expectations from your team – and your behavior when your managers don’t meet your expectations. If your team members notice that there are no consequences for missing targets, why would they try their best? Similarly, if you tolerate one of your team members to produce poor results, why would other team members feel pressured to produce quality? When you hold your team to a higher standards, you are sending a strong signal across the organization.

2. Have the right people on the right seat

Without the right people on the right seat, nothing of what you can do will significantly increase accountability. The key question is: would you enthusiastically rehire everybody on your team? I advise my clients to assess employees on two dimensions; performance and adherence to company values. You will find more information on how to use this tool in this article.

Once you have the right people on your team you need to clarify their area of accountability. This is less obvious than it looks. The key question is: Who is accountable for each of the key functions in your company? As Mark Green explains “the exercise often reveals that there isn’t a single individual accountable for each function. When more than one person is “accountable”, nobody is accountable. It is easy to make assumptions that things will get done, but when there is not a designated person to account for a particular result, chances are, it is not going to happen. In this kind of environment, it is also easy to point fingers – Bob thought Mary would handle it, and vice versa. Other times, you’ll discover that a particular role hasn’t been filled by anyone at all; it is just implied that it will somehow be handled. Spoiler alert: it doesn’t!”

3. Clarify priorities

“The main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing,” wrote best-selling author Stephen Covey. “Individuals or organizations with too many priorities have no priorities and risk spinning their wheels and accomplishing nothing of significance,” says Verne Harnish in his book “Scaling Up.” Focus on a small number of priorities that will have the biggest impact on your goals, make sure that everyone on your leadership team is aligned on them – and communicate them broadly.

When employees understand where your organization is going and which role they play in it, they work less selfishly and they tend to make better business decisions on behalf of the company – simply because they can see the impact of their decisions and how they impact overall results.

4. Define clear action plans and metrics

Once you have identified who on the leadership team is accountable for each function and what your top priorities are, the next step is for each of your leaders to answer Mark Green’s key question: “What are the 3 most important results the company expects you deliver in exchange for paying your salary – and how should these results be measured? This step determines the results and metrics for each of your leadership functions. As we all know, you can’t manage what you don’t measure. If you want to increase the speed and quality of a particular service you offer, you should establish specific metrics to gauge those factors and identify metrics and targets for them. You may determine if you reach or surpass a target for three months in a row, you have achieved that objective.” Pick specific metrics, make sure that your leadership team is on the same page and that everybody aims for the clearly defined results – so that the rest of your organization can follow your lead.

Similarly, once you have defined top quarterly priorities, the question becomes: what do you and your team need to do in each of the next 13 weeks in order to achieve priorities? There are only 13 weeks in a quarter – if you do NOT view your quarter as a 13-week race, you will lose weeks and time which you will NOT get back. A weekly plan clarifies what can be expected every week, in order to meet expectations at the end of the quarter. It also makes it much easier for your leadership team to hold people accountable to their own 13-week plan.

5. Establish a metronome-like meeting rhythm

Just as a metronome calls time and sets tempo in a musical performance, so do a small set of consistently executed meetings to hold you and your team accountable, and keep everyone on the same page. The essential regular meetings are:

  • Daily huddles (no more than 10 to 15 minutes) to evaluate progress on the very short-term priorities and identify any blocking issues.
  • Weekly huddles (no more than 90 minutes) to review the status of the 13-week plan and course-correct if needed.
  • Monthly and quarterly meetings to review progress on the priorities, take corrective actions when needed, and identify new priorities for the upcoming quarter.

I often notice that the most impactful meetings to drive accountability are the daily and weekly huddles: they create peer pressure and hence take the heat off your shoulders as the leader. They also improve communication: You won’t need to have the same water-cooler conversation three of four times, as is the case when you rely on chance hallway meetings for communication. And finally they enable collective intelligence to solve problems.


In the end, how much difference do these tools make on accountability? Pretty big, as this example from another Gravitas Impact business coach, Glen Dall, demonstrates in Mark Green’s book “Creating a Culture of Accountability”: “I worked with the CEO of a multi-location dental practice. The CEO had started with one practice that they grew very successfully – and then began expanding. At one point employee turnover rates increased to 200%. The leadership team would plan and set goals, but frequently failed to achieve them. The growth rate was declining. The CEO felt over-extended, frustrated and stressed.”

With the leadership team Glen Dall leveraged these tools to have the right people on the right seat, set priorities and targets, as well as establish a proven system to follow up on them. The result? “After our first 6 months of working together, the CEO told me, “You should be proud of how far you’ve brought the team. I feel that we have accomplished more in the past 6 months than we were able in the last 7 years.” That is the power of accountability.”

As a business growth coach, I work with founders of mid-market companies who are frustrated because their business is not growing the way they want; my passion is to help them identify and remove the growth roadblocks they have been hitting so they can grow faster and with less pain. Often their roadblocks include a lack of accountability: they have no system in place to regularly follow up on their team’s many commitments, or their teams don’t have clear priorities and metrics. I would like to learn about your growth roadblocks; contact me to discuss at Xavier@AmbroseGrowth.com.

What about you? How accountable is your team? How has Covid impacted accountability? Over the past couple of years, how many quarters has your company reached and missed their targets? What were the consequences of hitting targets, and what were the consequences of missing them? Do you have clear metrics and regular meetings in place to follow up on each of your priorities?

Let me know your thoughts in the comments section.